The Difference Between Compassion and Pity

When someone we care about is facing a life-threatening illness, it’s natural to want to be there for them. But the way we show up matters just as much as the act of showing up itself. One of the most important things we can learn is the difference between compassion and pity.

Pity looks down on someone. It says, “I feel sorry for you.” Compassion, on the other hand, meets someone where they are. It says, “I’m with you.” That difference may seem small, but to someone going through hardship, it can mean everything.

So what does compassion look like in action? In this post, we’ll share three ways you can walk alongside a loved one facing illness.

Compassion starts with listening.

It’s easy to assume we know what someone needs, but often the most powerful gift we can give is simply our presence. Compassion begins when we slow down and listen without judgement. When we listen without rushing to fix or give advice, we communicate that our loved ones’ voice matters. Sometimes, compassion looks like sitting in silence, allowing someone to share what’s on their heart, or respecting when they aren’t ready to share at all.

Compassion honors dignity.

When someone is navigating illness, so much can feel out of their control. Pity takes away more power, making someone feel smaller. Compassion does the opposite, it lifts them up. That might mean asking before stepping in to help, respecting boundaries, or treating them as the same full person they’ve always been, not just their or their loved one’s diagnosis. By honoring dignity, we remind them that illness does not define who they are.

Compassion shows up in little ways.

Compassion doesn’t have to be big or complicated. Often, it’s the small, thoughtful gestures that matter most: a text that says, “Thinking of you,” a meal dropped off at just the right time, or remembering an important appointment. These little acts carry great weight because they show consistency, care, and thoughtfulness.

Compassion changes lives.

At A Week Away, we believe compassion changes everything. It creates space for families to feel supported, for kids to laugh and play again, and for hope to take root even in the difficult seasons.

If you know someone facing a life-threatening illness, consider how you might show compassion in their journey. And if you’d like to let someone know about the gift of a Respite, visit aweekaway.org. Together, we can help make sure no one walks this road alone.