May 2025

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay: Giving Yourself Grace on Hard Days

When you or a loved one is facing illness, it’s not just the physical symptoms that take a toll; it’s the emotional and mental weight, too. From processing a diagnosis to navigating treatment, illness impacts your life. Some days will feel manageable while others may feel overwhelming. On hard days, giving yourself grace is essential. But what does that actually mean? For Karley Z.M. of New York, a brain tumor survivor, grace meant embracing every emotion, whether positive or painful. Karley writes: “Grace, in the context of dealing with my diagnosis, means that I am choosing to extend myself kindness, patience, and understanding. I think about how I would treat a friend in a similar situation, and I try to care for myself the same way.” From accepting your limits to finding moments of self-care, this blog post will explore ways to practice grace, especially on the hard days.

Limit Your To-Do List and Set Realistic Expectations

Giving yourself grace means recognizing you can’t do everything and that’s okay! Especially during illness, it’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself and family. This might mean scaling back your plans, asking for help, or letting go of non-essential tasks. When the day feels overwhelming, try focusing on 3 to 5 priorities. Not everything has to be done in one day. What matters most is taking things one step at a time and honoring what your mind and body can handle in the moment.

Practice Small Acts of Self-Care

Self-care plays an essential role in supporting your emotional and physical well-being. Even when you’re exhausted, small acts of self-care can make a big difference. This can look like:

  • Taking a walk
  • Enjoying a warm bath
  • Eating a nourishing snack
  • Reading a favorite book
  • Calling a loved one

By carving out moments for yourself, you can reset and stay centered in the midst of challenges.

Acknowledge Emotions, the Good and Bad

Emotions can be especially complex when dealing with illness. As Karley writes: 

“Giving myself grace means accepting that my emotions are valid responses to an incredibly challenging situation…Self-grace has meant that I am giving myself the space to learn and adapt, without being angry with myself for not always being upbeat and positive. I do try, though. Once again, I am human.” 

Being human means acknowledging that it’s normal to feel sad, frustrated, or angry. These emotions are natural, especially when navigating life-threatening illness. But finding ways to process your feelings can help ease their weight. This could be creating an emotional check-in routine like: 

  • Starting Therapy: Seek professional support to explore emotions in a safe, non-judgmental space.
  • Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?”
  • Joining an Online Support Group: Connect with others who share similar experiences.
  • Practicing Mindfulness Exercises: Engage in mindfulness or meditation to stay present and observe your feelings without judgment.
  • Expressing Yourself Creatively: Use art, music, movement, or other forms of creativity to release emotions.

Wherever you are in your journey, take a moment to check in with yourself. 

Reach Out for Help 

There’s strength in your community and it comes in many forms. You don’t have the shoulder the weight of navigating illness alone. Here are some resources and tips:

Spiritual Leader or Pastor:

If faith is a part of your life, leaning on a spiritual leader can bring comfort. Pastors, chaplains, or other spiritual mentors can offer prayer, a listening ear, and guidance rooted in your beliefs. In moments of uncertainty, they can help you process emotions, find peace, and feel less alone in your health journey.

Professional Support: 

Family/Communication Resources: 

Community/Support Group Resources 

The Importance of Rest

It’s okay to not be okay. Giving yourself grace means seeking support, practicing self-care, and setting realistic expectations. Grace isn’t about giving up, it’s about recognizing your humanity. That’s why at A Week Away, we’re here to provide Respites that offer emotional, mental, and physical rest during your and your loved one’s health journey. To apply for a Respite, visit aweekaway.org/receive.